1. Don’t Be a Little Bitch

College prepares you for the real world, and in the real world – no one likes someone who constantly complains. If this offends you, see rule #1.

2. Wear a Condom

Pregnancy ruins college. Don’t risk it. Also, herpes.

3. Get an Internship

Get an internship in your field or something similar. Once you graduate you will automatically set yourself apart from everyone who has no experience. “Summer” vacation now counts as a gap in your resume.

4. Talk to People

5. Wait to Buy Your Books

6. Go to Class

7. Try New Shit

8. No Morning Classes

9. Make New Friends

10. Party Hard, Study Harder

11. Don’t Be “That Guy”

You can be stupid, just don’t be fucking stupid.

12. Minimize Debt

13. Beware the Buffet


That’s how you get fat. The “Freshman 15” is a real thing people!

14. Enjoy Yourself

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Cover Image dun_deagh